baCk frm maLaysia..quite fun lar..bT nth much lo..
yesterdae went back at abT 4pLus..daRn tired..soOo slpt all e way..reaCh at abT 6pLus..went temple 1st..gt a red bLessin frm buddha..den loOks like indian..loLx..den went bacK oLd hse to hab diNner..gT baby dere..damN cute sia..like b4..my cousin din tok to mi..left mi shattered..haiZ..bt i promised nt to break down even if she's nt dere fer mi ledi..den went ah yi's hse..her daughter's wedDin the dae after..sTayed overnite dere..waTch animation..bt den toOo tired..canT concentrade..den finaLli went slp..in air con rm..darn coLd sia..canT tahan..den go livin rm slp on soFa..loLx..den 6 plUs wake up..my aunt n uncle ledi woke up liaox..den i go my jie's rm..she still slpin..den i slp wib her..much warmer dere..den slp till 8pLus..shower..dreSs up..den groom came..he keNa aLotx frm e bride's sisTas sia..which is us..hahahahax..den gt ang baos..foLlow bride all e way to JB cuz her husband's hse dere..aGain sLp while were travellin..1hr pLus..den reaCh ledi..eaT..waiT..waIt..tok tok..den went temple nearby..smokey sia..bT vVVvv nice..den went to e hab diNner..so mani ppL..den mi my sista n cousin kena saBo to go up sing..den sing lo..haiZ..den ate ice cream..watT i like is tT..my dad's mum n father comin out..somemore somemore..my mum's mum comin out oSo..wow..gt a wk of gD food liaox..muahahahahahahahahahahax...din manage to see a.Zai..actualli..he asked mi out fer tea..bT i cant go..so toO bad..i even asKed him to come out singapore sia..bT toO bad again..he cant...

haiZ..donNo y tired tired recently..boThered by my cousin stuff sia..haiZ..she din want to tok to mi..watT to do!!! aLamak..im jus a failure larx..suicide is jus a way to tell god tT he cant fire mi cuz i quit..i reaLi feel like quitin sia..mayb being a ghost will b betTa..ARGH...haiZ..how can such an impt persoN walk ouT ob my life liDdat?? soBbx..tis yr aint a gd yr sia......watT a beginnin...saDded sia..she gonNa hate mi foreva..i jus know it..failure failure..if im a mute..will tis happen? if im nt even here..things wont happen..ryte...haiZ.....confuseD fer some of e stuff..mayb its nt e time fer mi to tink of it nw..bt im startin to regrett..my gosh..watT the hell is wrong wib mi..jus gimme a knife..tT will end all.......

sEen thRu 1:25:00 PM

phew..doNe wib todae's banD..daRn tired..goin to hab tuition soOn le..my gosh.....reaLi loOk forward to another sectioNal wib sir..sometimes he jus roCkx..loLx..gD teaCheR..loLx..nxt wk gueSs goin to peixin bax..loLx..cute students dere..reaLi kawaii..
ltr goin baCk malaysia liaox..i nt tt excited leh..y arhx..aLamak..bt nvm..
donNo watT to wear sia fer e weddin dinner tmr..hmMm......puzZled..
reaLi puzZled by moi feeLings nw..sianZaTion..dyin off.......

sEen thRu 5:08:00 AM

wa..todae during band..feLt like sLpin man..sLackin all e way..aLamak..i canT do tT man..bT i daRn tired sia.....phew..bT finaLli..banD ish over fer todae liaox..phew phew...tmr gt another seCtion aGain..aRgh..tuiTion tmr oSo..aRgh..wisH i could sLp more..soBbx..miSs my bed..pilLow..bLanket.............

syF toOk aLotx of things away frm mi sia...watT a cruel thingi..it toOk away my time..my grades..sLpy hrs..leisure tym....hangin ouT tym...aLoTx aLotx..includin my reLationship stuff...bt i aint regretTin..sinCe i've went tis far..if i wanNa participate..den i shall bring e best ouT of mi..deres no failure onLi feedbacks..yuPpx..tT phrase means aLotx sia..loLx..

i've saiD i wanNa slp thru out..bt someboDi said.."u don nit to sLp nw..nw ish ur tym to enjoy life..when u die..u gt plenty tym to slP..no fear man.."n of cuz..i aGree...nw ish reaLi e tym i treasure my life n ppL arnd mi..hahahax..im utterly soRi fer whom i've hurt..even those whom r far far away...i jus hoPe u understand..nia....i reaLi appreciate my frenx..my cLose frenx..my distance frenx..all my frenx..cuz they meant alOt to mi..without them..i will still b a naive gaL....3 yrs...i've learnt alotx of stuff..gain loTx of experiences..n i don wanNa repeat them aGain.... i aint gonNa be a lonely souL aGain...i wanNa my life to b filled wib happiness n warmth...distanCe onLi works fer frenship..subito..realise....awoke frm all my dreamx..goNna see e facT tT distance don work out well..haiZ..im gLad he called tis few daes..n im jus glad tT we r still frenx...

thx er zi..thx fer listenin to mi tis daes..i noe i've been buggin u since last tym..hahahahax..anYway..muz tC..don gt sick ar..thx to cheryl..fer letTin my vent all my boreDnesS on her..cuz i nowadaes aLways make fun of her..craPpin wib her..which makes my life happier..hahahax....linA..hab been a vVv gd fren..bt stressed out tis few daes..goD bless her..im b behind! =]...shermeen..my lao po..aLso stresS out..as tired as im...hahahax..lets sLp together man..muahahahahahaha..irene..my gDi fren..soRi ar..tis few daes..i v no moOd..nah reaLi tok to u/listen to u...soRi soRi....bT i hope u undersTand..i definately WONT LEFT u out...u r part of us..fer sure....

quite long wor..todae's essay..bLeh..crap aGain..goin off ledI..bLess all..

sEen thRu 2:32:00 PM

Friday, February 25, 2005

im getTin vVvvVvvv tiRed thesE few days..caN i get thru tiS 39 daes? will i fall..haiZ..saDded..tiRed..wisH i couLd jus fall n sLp thru(out)..oMg......i gt no moOd to study..no moOd go fer band..pLay muSic..waTt m i doIn..haiZ..i reaLi doNno sia...reCently broke oSo..no $$$...cuz savin to buy a stupid mp3..aLamak..i vvVv tiRed.........tok to a.Zai todae..im goin baCk maLaysia on saT..kinDa exciTed..bt i don reaLi hab e moOd to b excited....haiZ..doNno is stresS or watT..
i don wanNa regrett watT i've saiD n done..soOo pls..don let mi feel guilty liaox..
aCtualli is still gt feelin..bt jus cuz of syF..sinGle..onLi ruLex fer nw...aFter syf..im daRn nt gonNa b sinGle liaox..soBbx..

sEen thRu 1:22:00 PM

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

aLamak..todae investiture....i daMn saDded..every1 saw mi waLk pasS..daRn saDDed face..haiZ..i feLt so loneLy n odd 1 out todae man....sitTin dere aLone is kilLin mi..i felT so heLplesS sia....i doN eVen noe in e 1st pLace y im dere.......i shouldnt sae yes to hidaya in e 1st place..im commitin suicide..haiZ..i feel so saDded..canT help it man...im jus a twig in tT place..every1 is sO high up dere....im aLone down dere..haiZ haiZ haiz..it aint abouT e post..i oSo doNno waTT its aBout oSo..haiZ......im beginnin to feel negative aGain..haiZ...ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!die liaoX...

i doN feel like smiLin aGain.. i doNno y..haiZ..aLamak..i don streSsed..bt i don felt love..by frenx family...haiZ haiz..i like isOlate myself lidDat..haiZ haiz..waTt u guys gt to sae abT den muZ sae infront of mi..!!! kkx..gimMMe tons of comments..thx..

confused..i recieved a.Zai's caLl yesterdae....he called n asked how m i..i sae i was fine..we tom nt more den 15 mins..den he sae v expensive..den we hang up..haiZ..disTance..i can feel........

despO?? haiZ..doNno.....vVvv down moOd..yesh....im daRn down tis daes..I DONNO Y!!!!!!
soBbx..my goSh..seriously..i felT left out..aLone..isOlated..oDd 1 out todae..aw...hmph..my gosH........aR..haiZ..=3 don make mi feel guilty n regrett waTt i've done..pLs.....

sEen thRu 12:50:00 PM

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

waTt a vaLentine todae....so damn saDded..1st i waNna sae sori..i cant aCcept u..fer i cant forgt him....n its becuz of mi..everything went wrong fer him,mi n my cousin..needlesS to sae..u muz hab hated mi ryte..bt i canT help it oSo...u cant force loVe..sori i cant pull u out frm ya lonelinesS...i can tell u waTt i told other ppL..lonG b4 i've aLreadi said no..bt yet u waNna waiT..i canT do anything oSo..i seriously doN wish to see u wasTe ya tym leDi..go ahead fer another gaL...kkx..
todae chem cLass..kena by CYF..arsehoLe..kb soO much..todae enrichment we left e cLass..cuz she sae those nt interested can go baCk..den of cuz we go lo..den after tT i told my mum abT it..she said we were wrong..i kinDa agree oSo..so i guesS sayin sori to her tmr? haiZ..haIz..hAiz..Haiz....i vVvvv saDded..im troubLed..im down......i need to b repair..betTa still find a replacement..haiZ..
mum came hme..tok to mi vVv nicely..n i noe she meant well....she told mi loTx of stuff..n i understood..in the end..i told her.."durin cny...cousin din even spoke to mi..." den she replied..den let it b..i cried..n shook my head..she place her hand on my head.....n walk aWay..she doN understand how i wanted to tok to my cousin..how i long we can tok like b4...tell her my troubles..ask her to help mi soLve..stay up late..tok.............she don understand....i reaLi donNo watT to do..i don wanNa experience tis kinDa prob aGain..i had had enough since young..i don wanNa to b left aLone in the end aGain......i wan back the happi times we had...m demandin..........soBbxx

sEen thRu 1:27:00 PM

Saturday, February 12, 2005

ha oOo..waSsup ppL..baCk frm maLaysia liaox..quite fun..aTmosphere fiLled wib excit(E)ment, disaPpointment, saDnesS n HAPPIneSS..loLx..on 6th of feb we haD our reunioN diNner..we haD steamBoat..shuanG..bt nT fuLl at aLl de..den we recIeved honG bao..quite a sum of $$ sia..den nXt mondae..gt band..tIll quite late..bT still hav to go buy high heels..siaZ..so at abt 8 plus went to orchard..shop fer e shoe..den wenT hme..si bei tired..sLp..den went skoL fer cnY ceLebraTion..siaZaTionX sia..waNna sLp ledi..den khian siong came..i saw him..bt he nah saw mi..he vVV saDded sia..hahax.. hahax..den went back to maLaysia...reaChed at abT 6 plus..aTe reunion diNner..den wenT around..miDnight..gamBle..lose 20cent..loLx..den gt fire works..gt fire crackers..vVv noisy..bt gd..hahahax..den 2plus sLp liaox..nxT mornin woke up..dresS up..waH i wear skirt like smth v amazin liDdat..every1 was sayin wah skirt n high heels ar..den i was like diaOx..went to gt ang bao frm reLatives..n on tT dae..i saw a.Zai 4 times......greaT!! haiZ...............................
toOk loTx of piCs of clouds..coOl..beautiful..loLx..den tT niTe..i went fer a ride..i drove my daD's car..20km..cooL..sPeed=70...wOw..damn sLow..bt oki lar..aFter drivin e car..drove moTor..woW..tT was reaLi cooL..hahahax..soO happi..den ride pasS bBall court..saw a bundLe of ppL dere..bT toO dark..caNt see who..bt im sure..a.Zai is inSide..gT a feelin..den ride 2 rounds round e village..shunag damn shuang...hahahahx..im waiTin fer nxt ride in june..hahax..vVVVvvVvVvv haPpi to sPend my time in maLaysia..

i doNno im naive or waTt..bt i've pLanned..in e comin june..mi, lina n cheryL are goin baCk to my village to take piCtures of e nature dere..shuang..den can ride bike..can go anywhere..can pLay bBall wib my frenx aGain....caNt waiT man..den after tT comes dec holidaes..while waiTin fer results..im goNna spend 1 solid month in maLaysia..muahahahhahahahahahahax...no jokin sia..im gonNa do tT man..n i've ledi tok my parents im gonNa buy tt hse down..haiZ..so naive horx..bT tTs watT i tink n waNna do..hahahahax..n i've aLreadi tot of marrin into maLaysia dere...i noe i siaox liaox..bt waTt to do..im nt normal in e 1st pLace..den married liaox b hse wife..take care of children..live peacefulli..

anYway...i found maLaysia guys betTa den sinGa guys..sOme lar..they r much more independent den sinGa guys..hahax..they r hardworkin..den they r cooL..in some ways..at young age..they alredi own their own bike..at age abt 23 they alreadi hav their own car..cuz they hardworkin ma..den they don spent too much $$ oSo..tTs waTt i like abT them..soMe more i like m'sia vVvv much..

seEms like i dislike loTx of stuff sia..i shLd jus type out alL todae..tonite bax..loLx..
i don like...
ppL who gossips..
smokers....
damn kS ppl..
no sense of wearin..
naggi ppL..
homework..
bz life..
green chili..
ppL who disturb mi n make mi fcuk up..
ppL to sticks wib mi vVVvvv often..
tok on phone..
betrayer....
back stabber..
biG mouth..
cats..
birds..
meaninless life..
busybodies..
mani mani more leh..hahax..don wanNa write liaox..i waNna waTch shoe ledi..luv ya all..bLess..

sEen thRu 2:35:00 PM

Monday, February 07, 2005

ha oOo ppL..kinDa jus caMe back frm camp..hahax..damN tirin sia..phew..bT its oVer liaox..xchangin band is fun..vVv fun..gt to noE new ppL..hahax..bT we din pLayed well..reaLi din..saDded..doNno y leh..haiZ..den keNa scoLdin frm mr faiZal..haiZ..haiZ..saDded..bt we've deCided to woRk even haRder..yeah..tTs e spirit ob baNd..muahahahhahahahahahahax..vVvv tiRed..i sLpt fer 16 hrs..cooLx..hahax..den cauGht flu..siaNzaTion..den muZ do all e cLass deco stuff..woW..sonG bo..luCki gt my siS to help moi..hahahax..thx gaL...den pusHed away tuitioN..greaT..hahax..den todaE went heartLand shOp fer deCo stuff....shun bian pei mother go shOppin..den she toOk damn long man..aCtualli nt tired oSo walK until tired liaox..den went houGang mall..lonG dae sia..den nw at hme doin deCo..

ahah..din went fer e investiture..bt heard tt it was a success..gD lo..hahax..

tmR is e imPt reheaRsal..pPl muz do well kkx..hahax..God bless us..heex..anYway..goTto rush my work leDi..buaix..

sEen thRu 10:03:00 AM

Thursday, February 03, 2005

sianZation..yesTerdae rejected another perSon aGain..haiZ..sori soRi..bt..i gt my own reasoNs kkx..anyway..thx u fer lubin mi soo much..the u noe who..bt i donNo how i can repay u..hmMmmm..i donNo when i can..haiZ..y nt fan abT banD stuff...vvv happi in banD..bt watT im troubLed wib is reLationship stuff..i doN waNna hurt any1..yet im nt reaDy to take..soOo..watT to do?

todae in skoL..sianx sianx sianx..feeL like sLpin..waNna sLp..~yawn~now oSo feel like sLpin..diaox..den nth much haPpened..jus v sianx lar..

miXed & stirred up feeLings..i donNo watT to do........

sEen thRu 12:45:00 PM

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

phew..skoL is geTtin sLower n slower..i so damn sianx abT skoL liaox..nTh speciaL oSo..sianZatIonzx..getTin more n more tired as daes went by..preSsure is so damn heaVy sia..hmMmm..bt wateva la..as lonG as i happi can le..todae mdm su damn hapPi sia..donNo y..in her entire lesSon she had been laughin n smilin..omG..den some guys said softly to us..oMg her smile is killin mi..pls ask her to sTop..daRn funnie sia..den todae de s.studies..as usual..as sianx..aLL lesSons oSo sianx..tmr gt PE..more sianx..aiYo..y skoL life so sianx..nth to do AT ALL...bt yeah..band exhange comin soOo..donNo cLar section gt shuai ger nt..hahahax..siaox liaox..bt hopefulli..baNd can improve yar..hahax..kkx write till here liaox..lub yar all..happy chinese new yr!

sEen thRu 11:42:00 AM

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

muahahahahahaha..vVvvvVvv lonG nah updaTe liaox..soRi peEpx..bt recently aLotx of ppL ask mi y i nah upDate..reaSon is .......i lazy lar...hahax..soRi sori..
basicaLli..nT much haPpened..oh yar..i din went to poa class todae..insTead i went to liT cLass..sOnG bo..cuz i went poa laTe..den e fronT dooR lock..den i toT tT stupid suUuuu lock e door..bt acTualli she use anoTher door..bloody hell..bt nvm..i skiPped her lesSons..so fun..den next is stuff happened lasT wk lar..tT ms chen ar..everytimE gib us atTitude..kaOx..watT she wans..smack her sia..jus cuz 1 persoN nah bring her work she don wanNa teach fer a douBle period..waTt is her proBlem..wah liaox..den e.maThs..doNno watT mr neo tokin abT..suan le..faiLin soOn liaox..haiZ..saDded..saDded..


yeaH..finaLli tok abT band liaox..hahahahahahahax..so happI..onCe it comes to band..im reaLi energaTic--->??..yaR..waTeva...bt we r beginnin to like our new insTructors..hahahahax..they reaLi cute..they reaLi cheers us up man..exchangin program comin..will b bz liaox..bt nvm lar..as lonG as its fer band..muahahaha..indeed..we r band freaks..loLx..saT went to peixin pri skoL..go dere cuz our main instructor dere..kiDs dere so cuTe..their bass oSo powder sia..loLx..we r still far far behind..bT we will n definatly work vVVvvvVvVvvVvvvvvvVVVVvVvv haRd..hahax..which means more n more practices..bt nvm lar..hahax..i noe most of e band peepx r quite stressed out..expecialli shermeen..john..hidaya..lina..haiZ..wanNa tell them nt to b so stressed out..leave things to us oSo..don do it all by themselves..they will wrok to death liDdat..man..goD bLess them!!!!!!!! ms loh..she oSo v stressed..now she sick liaox..muz recover soOn kkx..wanNa gt involved..im involved..bt i don feel the stress they hab in them..i oSo donNo y..im nt favoured by ms loh..tTs watT i feel lar..i doNno..hahax..i feel i cant even be an assistan treasurer..i haven done much..bt i reaLi reaLi hope tt..they wont stress themselves so much so till they collapse..no..tTs nt watT i want lo..i waNna cooperative..sOo pls band peepx..we nit u..u niT us toOo..we don wan band to fall.......


haven heard frm kenken recently..how is his badminton competition nah..hahax..kiansIong..how is ur shoPpin todae? hmMm..hahax..soRi no time acc u go shoPpin..joHn..my er zi..loLx..cooL..irene..my lao gong..reaLi helped out aLotx..thx..lina..don stress yarself toO muchi kkx..u hab mi along wib u..can throw everything to mi when u r toO tired kkx..shermeen lao po..u too..don stress yaself toO much..let natural take its course..kkxx..cheryL..my daughter..u ar...everytime sick..take care kkx..syamim..my brotha..don hide bks liaox lar..hahax..anyway..cheer up kkx..socCer can always try aGain ar.. =]

tts all..i gtg liaox..lub all..buaix

sEen thRu 12:57:00 PM