im awfulli sOri..i don mean to hurt u or watT..bT i jus cant sae i wanna patch wib u..when i doN reaLi wanna now..im vVvv soRi..vVvvvv soRi..im sori im always the 1 hurtin u..im soRi tT i cant giv u watT u wanna..

~y canT i gt the person i aLways wanTed?~
y m i aLways in e 3rd party? y when there is a chance i din grab..
yYy i jus cant gt thru reLationship? proPerly..yYy...goD muZ hab haTed mi..
yesh..i luB e feelin when ppL lub mi..bT.......it doesnt mean i hab to luv him baCk..iTs my feeling..i can giv it to e 1 person i luB..bt he toO..he can don return e lub if he doesnt like mi..in the other sense i noe watT im......


im like an ugly monster livin in c0mplete darkness..i hide myself..i don wanna to show myself to ppL..bt...my heart waS onCe opened..bT it was hurT..deeply hurt..den it shuts itslef completely..i shed my tears in the dark..foreva im shed..till my eyes bLeed..till im oLd..bT im like im livin foreva..n foreva in paIn...there aint a person who can heLp mi...wheneva confesSion comes in....im e 1st to reject..1st to gt huRt aGain..it lasT foreva..it doesnt want to stop..i cant stop it..i cant prevent it..who would want an ugly moNster? who would want a person wib attitude? sometimes i reaLi tink im nt even fit to b here..tellin u guys how i feel..i..noe ppL hate mi..noe they reaLi wanNa kick mi..n reaLi fuck up wib mi..n i noe y..soBb~

sEen thRu 1:20:00 PM

Monday, January 17, 2005

hahaha...haiZ..now so sianx..in skoL com laB..havin chem..sian Argh..aLamak..doin e wksheet so sianx..haven even finish..So sianx ar..hope can hurry go hme play com..bT lots of hw leh..Alamak..sian bo..goTto finish befor pLayin bT den v tireD leh..waNna sLp..haiZ..soOo short liaox..cannot haiZ liaox..saDdx sia..aGain im the pathetic 161.2cm...duh...

sEen thRu 6:50:00 AM

Sunday, January 16, 2005

syaMim..i oSo donNo how to repLy u..i luV e daes when we weRe together oSo..bT dere is bound to be restriction n enclosed freedom..n besiDes..i gt toNs of stuff to take care of now..n so do u..don u tink tis is tT e suitabLe time to tok abT tt? itS my importnaT yr tis yr..syF comin..maYb afTer syf we tok abT tt..bT its far too lonG...waTt ans i can giv u now is..nT tt i don like u..bT its jus tT i gt loTs of things to do now..n relationship sadLy is nt in e lisT ryte now..soRi..

sEen thRu 2:32:00 AM

Saturday, January 15, 2005

yeaH!! i finalli tok to moi siS lasT nite..yeah..toLd her tonS of stuff..hahax..daRn greaT..bT den she went to do anoTher paRt time..haiZ..aGain no more time wib her liaox..siaNz..
toDae....mOrnin..REALI don wisH to wake up..REALI..feel like jus stayin in my bLanket..waRm sia..hahax..den bo bian hav to wake up..shower..gO skoL..saw jun wei on e way..he funNi sia..loLx..den bLeh bleh...........AR..den baNd sTarts..cooL..i like my instructor now..he raWkx..loLx..teaChes us loTs of things..banD sounds nicer now liaoxx...GREAT!! i doNno whether i'll be selected fer syf ntx..bT..hopefulli can la..hahax..sTill muz gib my best shot..loLx..no regreTx..den aFter tt fall in..gin fer a concert tis sundae..yeah..my instructor de band play..hahax..sure niCe de..we supporT him lo..loLx..den aFter fall in..brinG 2 sTuPid taBles to !!2ND!! floor..2 gaLs lo..waTt om sim tinkin..duh..den oki liaox..pack..den hui qun call us to heLp usher..aGree on tt..call mum..confirm everythin liaox...stay baCk n usher erm..haD loTs of fun..hahax..bT biT feverish now..no voice now..canT sing..soB..flu..muscleache..phew..chonG too muc?? donNo..bT i vv hapPi..loLx..chill out..peaCe!! niTe

sEen thRu 3:34:00 PM

Friday, January 14, 2005

woW..todaE's baND was daRn fun..yEah...!!!loLx..though we diD marches..bT it was totalli cooL!! yeah..hahahahax..yuPpx..vVv happi..bT now muscles all achin liaox..mr lawrence de pe siaox de..run track 5 rounds...leap frog half e track..stetch until siaox liDdat..make us jump up n down 21 times at e steps..goSh.. todae mornin wake up..ouCh everywher..goSh..den todae do driLls..paiN like siaox..bT vVvVv fun..yeahx..aFter band went to hearTland to -hun-..loLx..eaT liaox..tok tok..went hme..my baG is so daRn heavy tT i guess i'd shorten..cannOt short liaox..i aLreaDi v short liaox..mY gOsh..161 onLi!!! pathetic 161..kaOx..<---soRi ar..tiS my faVe worD..bLeh..>.<..loLx..e.maths now muz relay on my tuition cher liaox..poA muz relay on kiansioNg..physiC...hmMm..mr lim pls teaCh properly..or else i fail i whack u 1st..im dependin A*s fer subjects to get $$$ now..1 A $80 sia..goTto work haRd..pheW..streSs streSs..loLx..muz aLways gt some1 to tok to mi liaox..haiZ jie go work part time..mornin cant see her..niTe i sLp liaox den she come baCk..nO chance to tok to her..saDdx aR..soBbx..onLi she can unDerstand how mi feel..den can lame wib mi..can tolerate wib my stubborn...nowadaes felt so empty..doNno y..i doN feel happiness when i laugh..haiZ..i don wan my laughter to b jus a show..nO way..gotTo find out waTts wrong..anywaY..vvVv tired todae..so niTe every1..bLess all..

sEen thRu 1:50:00 PM

Thursday, January 13, 2005

hmMm..throat nt vV well nowadaes sia..hurts..haiZ..guess i don hab enough h2o..muz consume more..haiZ..tink goin to lose moi voice liaox..den cant sinG..soB..hahax...conFused nah..it either a yes or a no..shLd i or shLd i nt..i cant sae anything cuz it doesnt makes any sense..aLamak..do i wanna continue likin him when he is nt even wif mi? aLamak........ lets wait till cny...i wanNa see n lisen to him..mayb ttS watt i wanna.....if he rejecTs..hahax..den.........i'll b a sinGle souL again..

sEen thRu 12:45:00 PM

..losin moi voice i guess..

another boRin dae..i've been complainin vVv sianX to kiansionG todae.soRi ar..muZ make u lisTen to tT..hahax..anywaY..iTs reaLi v borin ma..haiZ..PE so exTreme sia..loLx..stretch tinll like donNo watT..den enG daRn sianx..don eVen hab e time to copY down..n i gt pathetic marks fer comPre..diaox..muz work haRd liaox..haIx..chinese write compo..tiTle so sianx..abT smokin..waTt i hated moSt..e.maths more sianx..mr neo doNno teaCh watT..canT understand him man..asSembly..oM sim tok cock aGain abt fire drill...den went fer tesT..i choose disappointment..greaT tiTle..i wrote 887 words..cooL huhx..loLx..write till shou suan..count until siaox..den finished liaox..went makan...makan liaox..go library return bk..e bK by ann rice so sianx..so i borrowed short stories..loLx..bY andersen loLx..tmr banD le..yeaH..though goin hme vVv laTe bt..well...tTs fer band soOo..nvm bax..loLx..came hme..shower..play fer awhile..do work..siao liaox..mr neo gib de hw donNo how to do..poA oSo nit to do stuff..aRgh..she haben teach ask us to do..aLamak..doNno how to do..bt muz at least write smth fer her to see..ALAMAK..who can teach mi..??? aRgh..nvm.....hope tmr will b a betta dae fer mi, my frenx n moi family..bLess all..

sEen thRu 12:36:00 PM

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

hmmm..
~shLd i b loOkin fer loVe aGain..oR shld i waiT fer it to come?
~shLd i gif up tis distance reLationship?
~will i be aBle to gif up tis reLationship?
~watT is his feeLings?
~how couLd i noe his feeLing?
~how is he wiTh his gaLfren reCently..
=im jus an extra thing/object in his life..=

haiZ..bOthered..trouBled..doNno watT to do..
how can i noe his feelings? how..i reaLi donNo..he is so faR awaY..n im here..no way we can contaCt eaCh other ..hadnt played bBall fer a loNg lonG time..izZit becuz i wanNa forgt e happi times when we pLayed bBall together? the time when i waTch him played bBall match with his fellow paLs..the time when he teaChes mi? i reaLi doNno..we'r impossible..even in moi dreams..nTh gd can fall oN mi..basicalli nth..i've gt nTh..nO knowlegde..nO beauty..no figure..no taLent..no nth.....im jus an anGel frm hell..eaRth may nt be aBle to acCept tis kinda nonsense in here..so where do i belong? heaven? earTh? hell? or jus nowhere? whose heart can fit mi in?

sEen thRu 12:50:00 PM

wah..another bOrin dae AGAIN..haiZ..poA soOoOoOo sianx..sTupid cher..still don wanNa teach..soOo daRn sianx...den cMe come a relief cher..doNno waTt the hell is her name..bT she sure gt mi to show her my aTtitude..piG leg..sTill dare to wear mini skirt..duh...suX..she sure kena frm mi n my gang..fer sure...daMn her..beTta don cum di siao us aGain..she n aLvin tan couple sia..the nobodi like couple..den bLeh bLeh..e.maths daRn sian..mr neo teach so sianx..all ques i noe how to do liaox..chicken sia..haiZ..no meanin at all sia....
recently i like e song from the bottom of my broken heart v much..doNno y..izZit becuz e lyrics is jus like mi n a.Zai? haiZ..

sEen thRu 10:45:00 AM

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

~S.I.A.N~

soOoo siaNx in skoL..nTh excitin..SIANX!!! den cLass grouPin..haiZ..don like moi grp leh..soOo darn sian de..aRgh..eveything is soOo sian in moi liFe..teachers alsO so sian..bT watt to do..haiZ..aLreaDi promise to do well tis yr leDi..haiZ..my gosH..muz be guai guai in cLass liaox..muZ listen to stuPid chers tok cock..muZ waSte paper to do hW..muz waste energy to gO skoL..aRgh..i waNna fun..haiZ..im being more n more transparent i guesS..hmmm..doNno leh..haiYa..mayb jus tell moiself to do work n keep myself busy baX..n i doN tink e reLationship wib a.Zai can lasT..soBbx...i hanG his caLl AGAIN!!! MY GOSH....i can kill myself..soBbx..coLlectin some love n concern frm ppl around..hopefulli its enough to fill my greedy heart...i wanna loVe!! i wanNna fun..!! i gt some freedom i needed ledi..haiX..guesS im shorter ledi..haiZ..nvm bax..lets b short fer todae..den tmr is a brand "new" dae aGain..HAIZ......

sEen thRu 12:41:00 PM

Saturday, January 08, 2005

yoYoz..baCk frm caMp..

ha ooOoo..ppL..im baCk frm camP..quiTe sianx e camp..bT though loTs of things haPpened..donNo whether shLd summeries..hmMm..k lahx..went fer e camp..quIte oki lo..1B rawks..they v bonded leDi..loLx..yeaH...tTs gD..den hmMm...walk arounD all e time..loLx..1st niTe..we stayed in canTeen to do baNd poster..in e middle..abT 3am liDdat..went up to hab some fun..loLx...mi lina hui qun n aLoy..went around e skoL..loLx..of cuz..go niTe walk lo..shuang..diN see anything..jus tryin out..went to dnt block dere..went into guy's toilet on 2nd floor i guess..went in..oFf lights..aLoy told us ghost story abT the e last cubicle..n dare us to go in..loLx..he saiD he don dare toO..so no 1 wenT in..after tT went around..went into doNno which flOor de gaL's toilet..tT 1 onLi off light went in..nTh much..continue to walk round..den kena caught..bt nth happened..den went baCk..continue to do poster..tT is e nite when i din sLp at all..onLi rest my eYes fer 5 mins..diaoX..aFter tt gT band..cuZ ccA dae..every ccA weRe greaT..vVv gd..den gt loTs of juniors walkin here n dere..we pLayed...gT new insTructor..YEAH..den we walk around..SECRET: i was darn tired tT i nearLy fall asleep while i was playin...hahahahahax..
bt had to controL..den yesterdae..went hme straight..so guaix..hahax..actualli is no1 pei wo go makan..so went hme lo..den play maple awhile..fall asleep..till 10 plus..wake up shower..slp again..till 12 noon..wake up fer tuiton..cuz my brain nt workin so i took 1h30mins to do 6 questions..damniT..haIz..den waTch tv..raIn..so nvr go out...sLackin all e way...den play maple..play piano to entertain myself..feel like slpin t don wan to..my eyes now vVv heavy sia..bt becuz my some1 bug mi to write..so i write lo..hab to do hw tmr liaox..duh..so tired...yawn..bleSs all..niTe......

sEen thRu 5:14:00 PM

Thursday, January 06, 2005

pHew..

phew..skoL finaLli started..nT tT busY anywaY..loLx..i wanna compLain! my cLass so daRn siaNxx lo..saDdx casE sia..wah liaox..can b bored to deaTh..all quiet quiet de..SIANX ar..i wanna 2B baCk..haiZ..sian bo..TTY geoG cher..mr neo e.maths cher.. duh..den chem cher is tT blooDy ms chen..kaOX..doNno bio or physiCs cher is lim kok ming...WAH KAOX..waTt the hell...all "gD chers" come teach us..win leDi lo..n tT chinesE cher so damn sian de..caN sLeep liaox la..2 periods tokin abt our future..bLeh..tok cock sia...bua tahan..finaLli skoL end..went fer luncH..so daRn hungry..den wenT meetin..oSo v sianx..bt den loOkin fowaRd to tmr's caMp..yaHooO!! can doN stay aT hme le..YeaH!~_~ loLx..hoPefulli tis camp the seC 1s can be vVvv enthU..yeah..todae band do marchin..i like e drum beat! hahax..bT we march vVVvvvVvVvvvvvvvVVvvvvvvVvvvvvvvvVVVVvvvv lan..throwin face on e face n steppin..den after tt..moi 2 broThas came aLong n waTch show..wHa liaox..they kenA frm mi n lisHan tmr sia..Lastly..i waNna shout out lOud...!!!!!MY HAIR SUX!!!!

sEen thRu 12:01:00 PM

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

bLoodY heLl..

im reaLi angry tiS time..daMn her..sTupid arsehoLe..cursEd ur worK plaCe to caTch fire..u losT ur wallet..bgR suX to my arsehoLe..bLeh bLeh bLeh........ARGH!!!!!!!!HATE U!!! im piSsed..daMn piSsed.....don any1 daRe to irritate mi tMr..he will die in my haNds..........i swear im nt goin baCk to tT stupId piG sty EVER AGAIN....even if i niT an uRgent hair cuT..im daRn nt goin baCk dere aGain..ARGH!!!! daMn u bloddy arsehoLe..im darn nt happi wib her attitude..teaR her faCe..ARGH!!!!!! BLODDY HELL..waT kinDa schooL reOpenin daE is tiS!!!!!!! everythng went wronG.......i shouldnt be born into tis world in e 1st pLace...

sEen thRu 11:55:00 AM